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Golden News
Volume 15, Number 17 - Monday 22 October 2001
It's a Dog's life:
Well it was certainly an unusual meeting last week. Our guest speaker Pauline Taylor from
the SPCA was accompanied by a dog trainer (whose name escapes me), and a dog (whose name also escapes me, but let's call him "Fido").
Anyway, as part of the presentation on the SPCA's "Hearing Dog Project", we were given a demonstration of Fido's responsiveness, which went something like this:
Trainer: Come here, Fido. (Fido: scratch,
scratch, scratch)
Trainer: Fido. Come here! (Fido: scratch,
scratch, scratch)
Trainer: FIDO! Come here NOW! (Fido: scratch, scratch, scratch) Trainer: #&Xc$@?>+#!!! (Fido: scratch, scratch, scratch)
Since Fido is a Shih Tzu, perhaps he only understands Mandarin? By the way, did you know that breeders plan to mate a Bulldog with a
Shih Tzu? They propose calling the offspring a Bull-Shih! Ahem.
The rest of the meeting was fairly typical. PP Robin "Da Hood" Ching tried to kiss the Sergeant on the lips. Thankfully, this time it was Susie "Madame Lash" Misini, unlike the last time PP Robin became amorous during a meeting, when he attempted to kiss PE Nanu "Nanu" Lachman. I really think Robin's good lady Judy should visit Hong Kong more often.
Of course PP Robin was heavily fined, as was Brian "Bin Drinkin" Hodgson, who told the Sergeant "let go of my leg" when she was actually holding his arm. This "faux pas" (and the fact that Brian kept scratching his nether
regions), was blamed on the influence of Fido, however lingering doubts remain. Sit, Brian! (scratch, scratch, scratch).
Our fearless leader President Ebe Tung "Chee Watusi" was in her usual cheerful form and she managed to close the meeting on time. Bombay time.
Last but not least, our Human Resources Bean-Counter Attendance
Director Neerja "Da Numbers" Sujanani reports that our YTD attendance continues to hover at a respectable 71%,
but I'm beginning to suspect her abacus needs oil. Nevertheless, she reminds all members to keep doing those make-ups.
This Week's Meeting:
This week's guest is Mr. David O'Rear who will be speaking to us on "The Year 2002". By the way, since this week's meeting coincides with the HKSAR Government's "Dress Casual Day", KGM members are encouraged to attend the meeting wearing only their knickers. Hmmm. Just wondering that since I dress casually every day, does this mean I have to wear a tuxedo? KGM Board Meeting - Tomorrow:
The next BOD meeting will be held at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday 23 October 2001 at the
usual venue, namely 2/F Holiday Inn Golden Mile hotel.
All Club Directors (or their delegates), are expected to present an update on their committee's progress for the year to date. And remember if you are a male Director (i.e. on the endangered species list), speak only when spoken to, and the correct answer to all instructions is: "Yes, Ma'am". You have been warned. Of course, if you are also a non-German Director, you will be required to stand to attention and say: "Ya Voll", failing which you will be forced to eat a large bowl of sauerkraut.
Milestones:
Sheesh! Either we have no members celebrating their birthdays or we have four in the same week. Can't you guys get more organised? Anyway, here goes with this week's birthday greetings: 22 October: Norman "Bates" Liu who shares his birthday with Curly Howard, the "slaphead" member of the "Three Stooges". Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
24 October: Hans "I know nothing" Peter, who shares his birthday with American singer J.P. Richardson, more commonly known as "The Big Bopper". His most famous songs were "Chantilly Lace" and "Blueberry
Hill".
For the music trivia buffs out there, Richardson was killed in the aircraft crash on 3 February 1959, which also claimed the lives of Buddy Holly and Ritchie "La Bamba" Valens. The words "the day the music died", in the Don McLean song "American Pie", refer to that crash. For more information, click here.
25 October: Mazhar "Bizarre" Sultana who shares her birthday with Spanish "cubist"
painter Pablo Picasso.
28 October: Liam Drake "Ula" who shares his birthday with my hero, Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates.
Member Updates:
Sadly we bid farewell to Rtn. Erika Taylor, who departs Hong Kong today for greener pastures in Singapore. All of us at KGM wish her every success and happiness for her future. Let's just hope she doesn't like chewing gum or that she forgets to flush after using the loo, otherwise she may end up in deep doo-doo in Singapore, which is definitely a "fine" city. Fellowship News - Last Call: 
The Oktoberfest Fellowship will be held on Saturday 27 October 2001 at the Marco Polo Hong Kong Hotel.
The cost is only $300 per head, and this includes two pints of beer served in a souvenir beer stein, a main course, dessert and lots of schnapps. Prosit!
As usual, KGM members are expected to shamelessly drink copious amounts of beer, eat enormous sausages and do the chicken dance while wearing lederhosen and silly hats. In other words, you get to act as though you are at a KGM Board meeting! Members interested in attending should quickly contact KGM Fellowship Director David "Oom Pa Pa" Harilela on telephone 9168 8333 or Hans "Schnappsi" Peter on telephone 9039 3094. 
Alternatively, click on the flashing image on the left to send both guys an email, which
will be efficiently handled by David's Secretary "Amazing Grace", who is more organised and far better looking. She is also
likely to be sober, unlike our two Booze-Masters :-)
District 3450 News:
1) A list of the various Community
Service Projects undertaken (or planned) this year by the 49 member clubs of District 3450 has been published on the District Web Site (click on "Service Projects" in the left-hand frame or click here). The District Service Committee Chairman this year is KGM member PDG Dipo Sani and your Web Monster has already listed KGM projects on the web site.
2) LAST CALL: The District 10 Pin Bowling Tournament will be held at
the Mei Foo Sun Chuen Fun Bowl on Sunday 28 October 2001. Any KGM members interested in participating in this event should contact PP Bryan Van Dale on telephone 9481 5586 or by email.
3) A District Vocational Service Seminar will be held during the regular club meeting of RC Peninsula from 12:30 p.m. to 2:00 p.m. Tuesday 30 October 2001 at
the Hong Kong Hotel, Tsimshatsui. There is no charge for the seminar; attendees only need to pay for their lunch.
KGM members interested in attending this seminar should contact KGM Vocational Service Director PP Louis "Trailwalker" Thomas (who needs KGM members to accompany him and buy him beer). Call PP Louis on telephone 9171 3769 or send him an email. Rotary International News:
A) October is
designated "Vocational Service month" by Rotary International. For more information about Vocational Service, click here.
B) Have you visited the Rotary International web site recently? There is a plethora of information about the various programs undertaken by RI, including a special section on Polio Plus. C) Did you know there are two other regular RI publications, in addition to monthly "The Rotarian". These are the Rotary News Basket and Rotary World. All three publications can now be viewed on-line by clicking on the respective links available here.
D) The 2001 Rotary Institute for RI Zone 4 will be held from 19-21 October 2001 at the Shangri-La Hotel, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. For more information about this
event, visit their web site.
E) An RI Presidential PolioPlus Summit will be held from 22-24 February 2002 in Mumbai, India. F) An RI Presidential Conference will be held from 22-24 March 2002 in Taipei, Taiwan. G) The RI Annual Convention will be held in Barcelona, Spain from 23 to 26 June 2002, and you can register on-line here. For more information about the convention, visit their web site. Web Side Story:
Your "Non-Award-Winning" Web Monster was thrilled to discover under the Rotary Links
section on the website of the Rotary Club of Tamworth First Light in
Australia, that the top link on the list, called "Brodie's Favorite Club Site", points to the KGM web site.
Yet another fan! It seems KGM is becoming increasingly famous through our website.
Dear Geek:
Dear Geek, Recently I have received numerous email messages offering me "gas-masks" as a defence against anthrax and various other potential chemical or biological nasties. Do you think I should buy some for my family? Yours Ms. D. Fence.
Dear Ms. D. Fence, Note that while a gas-mask may prevent you from inhaling anthrax
spores, it will not prevent you becoming infected through skin contact. The same applies in
respect of other potential chemical or biological nasties. Moreover, the filtering canisters which protect you from such nasties have a limited shelf life and they also need to be
replaced once they have been used.
In order to obtain full protection, you would also need to wear a protective suit which encloses your entire body and you would need to wear it 24 hours a day. The best defence against these sort of attacks (and indeed against all crime), is vigilance. Be alert, be aware of your surroundings and be cautious when opening mail from unknown sources. Yours, Da Geek. Who Am I?
What is the more common name of German-born (but now American) "tough guy" actor Walter Willison?
The answer appears at the bottom of this issue.
Cunning Linguist:
Have you ever wondered about the origins of the expression "Blue Blood"?
Unlike so many other expressions, this one is well documented.
It's a direct translation of the Spanish "sangre azul". Many of the oldest and proudest families of Castile used to boast that they were pure bred, having no link with the Moors who had for so long controlled the country, or indeed any other group. As a mark of this, they pointed to their veins, which seemed bluer in colour than those of such foreigners. This was simply because the blue-tinted venous blood showed up more prominently in their lighter skin, but they took it to be a mark of their pure breeding. So the phrase "blue blood" came to refer to the blood which flowed in the veins of the oldest and most aristocratic families. The phrase was taken over into English in the 1830s.
Golden Smile:
Some differences between the sexes:
NICKNAMES: If four women go to lunch, they will call each other by their real
names. If four men go to lunch, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
BATHROOMS: A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The
average woman has 337 items in her bathroom. Most men would be unable to identify most of them.
ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for most weddings and funerals.
NATURAL: Men wake up looking the same as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
CHILDREN: A woman knows everything about her children. She knows their birthdays, she knows about their dentist appointments, their
romances, their best friends, their favorite foods and their secret fears, hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
Quotable Quotes:
"I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker."
-- Groucho Marx -- The Phantom |
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"Who am I?" answer: Bruce Willis
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