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Golden
News
Volume
15, Number 02 - Monday 9 July 2001
Lights! Camera!
Action!:
 Well, I'm
impressed. Very impressed. The first full meeting conducted by our
Fearless Leader President Ebe Tung "Chee
Wow", went off very smoothly indeed, as she didn't flub
her lines and nobody died. Must be the industrial-strength Prozac and
bottle of Tequila she had hidden under the podium (as if I wouldn't
notice!). IPP "Hopalong" Cassidy
Lam just sat there, smiling quietly to himself
during the whole meeting, but I cannot imagine
why.However Sergeant-At-Arms Susie "Madam Lash" Misini
(pictured left), was incredibly tough for her first meeting, and she
really cracked the whip. Ouch! Your poor, unsuspecting scribe was fined
for a variety of infractions ranging from "having ears" to
"unauthorised consumption of oxygen on a Wednesday". Damn she's tough!
Later we all listened intently to guest speak Philip Alberts as he explained the history of "The 2nd Oldest Profession" which, to my chagrin, was the Private Investigation business, not the manufacture of fishnet stockings. Drat! This Week's Meeting:
Ms. Angie Tham will be speaking to us on "Bubbles & Fizz". Hopefully the subject matter is about sparkling wines and not "establishments" of the same names, formerly in Manila, otherwise this could be a very embarrassing presentation for The Phantom. Ahem! Milestones: 1) Our belated congratulations to PP Joseph Kwan, on receiving the Medal of Honour in the HKSAR 2001 Honours List announced 1 July 2001, for "his valuable contributions in improving a built environment that caters for the needs of people with disabilities". I sincerely apologise again to PP Joseph for inadvertently omitting this crowning achievement from the last issue of Golden News. By the way, does this mean we now have to call him Sir Joseph or can we stick with "Yo, Joe"? Anyway, thanks to PP C.K. "Hawkeye" Tsang, I can also mention that two other prominent Rotarians from District 3450 were also included in the HKSAR 2001 Honours List. These are: PP Dr. Raymond Wu Wai-yung, J.P. (RC Kowloon West), who was awarded the Gold Bauhinia Star for "his significant contribution to the preparatory work for the establishment of the HKSAR", and PP Daniel Lam Chun, J.P., from our mother club (RC Kowloon), who was awarded the Bronze Bauhinia Star for "his distinguished and dedicated public and community services in Hong Kong". 2) Birthday greetings for 9 July to KGM Charter Member Rtn. Notan "Tick Tock" Tolani, who shares his birthday with Academy award winning actor Tom Hanks (of "Forrest Gump" & "Apollo 13" fame), and actor Jimmy Smits (formerly with the TV series "NYPD Blue"). 3) Birthday greetings for 12 July to Rtn. James "Ironside" Tsang, who shares his birthday with American comedian Bill Cosby and effervescent exercise guru Richard Simmons. Work those buns, girls! BOD Meeting:
Our monthly BOD meetings for the 2001/2002 Rotary year will be held on the 4th Tuesday of each month, which means the first one will be held at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday 24 July 2001 at the usual venue, namely Jade Suite II, 2/F, Holiday Inn Golden Mile. If you are a Director, please finalise your draft summary of your committee's plans and objectives for the year. If you are a male Director (i.e. on the endangered species list), remember to speak only when spoken to, and the correct answer to all instructions is: "Yes, Ma'am". You have been warned. Fellowship
News:
Dammit! Just as I was about to send my enforcer, Luca Brazzi, around to see Fellowship Director David "Party Dude" Harilela to make him an offer he couldn't refuse (for not yet organising our first fellowship event), David pulled a rabbit out of the hat! This has totally spoiled my fun because I was really looking forward to answering the question: "Where's David?" with a Don Phantom Corleone "He sleeps with the fishes!" response. Maledizione! Anyway the great news is that on Thursday 19 July 2001, we're having a "Cuban Missile Crisis Night", because we're starting with "Cuba Libres" at 6:30 p.m. at Club Havana followed by dinner at 8:00 p.m. at Balalaika Russian Restaurant. Viva Fidel! Perestroika! Both venues are located at 10 Knutsford Terrace, Tsimshatsui, and parking is available nearby at the carpark at Miramar Tower, Kimberley Road (opposite the Miramar Hotel), about 3 minutes waddle away. As our summer fellowships are usually small, intimate affairs (because many members are out of town), the plan is for everybody to pay for their own drinks at Club Havana, but the dinner bill at Balalaika will simply be apportioned at the end. This is called "going Russki", which is similar to "going Dutch", but it involves far more vodka! By the way, as part of the entertainment, International Service Director Elissa "Can-Can" Cohen has promised to demonstrate her Russian table-dancing skills, which apparently are quite famous in Macau. Bring lots of $100 bills. And Paramedics! Members wishing to attend this event should contact David by email or by telephone 9168 8333. Community Service News: Although your Phantom could not attend, my spies tell me that the "Free Medical Check Up Service" for the elderly, organised by Community Service Director Silva "Dollar" Yeung (in conjunction with St. Paul's Hospital), held at the Wai Ji Christian Service Sheltered Workshop, Cheung Sha Wan yesterday was another huge success. This "hands-on" event attracted over 500 participants, and the medical staff from St. Paul's were supported by 16 KGM members & partners, 25 Interactors and 6 Rotaractors. Also present was District Secretary PP Jones Wong, representing DG Johnson Chu. What a fantastic turnout! Congratulations and a heartfelt "thank you" to everyone who participated. This is what Rotary is all about folks, and it makes me proud to know that so many KGM members & partners, and our younger counterparts, gave up their Sunday for such a worthwhile cause. Give yourselves a well-deserved pat on the back. Semi-Annual
Dues - Reminder:
KGM Members are reminded that Semi-Annual dues of $1,500 for the period 1 July to 30 December 2001 are now due. If you have not already done so, please prepare a cheque payable to "Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile" and either pass this to club Treasurer PP Vince "Scrooge" Pinto, or post it to P.O. Box 98129 Tsimshatsui. By the way, I urge you to pay quickly, 'coz the Treasurer has a gun, and he's usually very grumpy. Be afraid. Be very afraid. By the way, receipts are not normally issued, however if you require a receipt, simply attach a reminder to your cheque, 'coz the Treasurer is also a forgetful old fart, but please don't tell him I said so! Member Updates: If any member knows the whereabouts of PP
Louis "Penicillin" Thomas, please contact Chief Inspector
Hugh Jarse, Hong Kong Police Computer Crime Bureau, Infectious
Diseases Wing, Quarantine Ward. PP Louis was last seen throwing his steam-powered, virus-breeding computer into Hong Kong harbour and we are concerned that he may have became entangled with his mouse cord and was inadvertently dragged into Hong Kong's murky waters. Reward offered. For the mouse. District 3450
News: Rotary International News: 1) The RI Board announced on 16 June 2001 that the two former Rotary "fellowship groups", which had been meeting in China for some time, have now been granted "Provisional Rotary Club" status. This is one step short of full charter, which is pending necessary changes to Mainland laws. Nonetheless, we take this opportunity to warmly welcome the Provisional Rotary Club of Shanghai (meets 6:30 p.m. Thursdays, Regal International East Asia Hotel), and the Provisional Rotary Club of Beijing (meets 12:30 p.m. Tuesdays, China World Hotel), into the Rotary family. The good news is that visiting Rotarians can now effect Make-Ups in Shanghai and Beijing. The bad news is that Rotarians in Hong Kong have lost a major excuse for poor attendance (i.e. frequent business trips to China). Yeah, right. Bwa-ha-ha! 2) The next RI Annual Convention will be held in Barcelona, Spain from 23 to 26 June 2002. No bull! 3) Remember July is designated "Literacy Month" by Rotary International. Dear Geek:
Q: As I can't even find the power switch on my computer, would you please explain to me the difference between Anti-Virus Software and Firewall Software? Yours truly, Ima Bozo. A: Dear Ima, As the name implies, Anti-Virus Software is designed to intercept (and repair, quarantine or delete) computer viruses and worms, before they can cause devastating and often irreparable damage to your computer. The most common source of viruses and worms these days are attachments to email messages which, even if they have been scanned, should only be opened if absolutely necessary. Unless you really know what you're doing, is it worthwhile opening the latest email joke and risk damaging your computer? For protection against computer viruses and worms, I use and highly recommend Norton Anti-Virus 2001, but simply installing this software is not enough. It is essential that you continually update your software at least once a week, otherwise you will not be protected against new computer viruses and worms, which are discovered every day. On the other hand,
Firewall
Software prevents unauthorised users, correctly
called "crackers" (the bad guys) not "hackers" (the good guys),
from accessing your computer via the Internet. Once again, I use and
highly recommend Norton Firewall
2001, which saves me from about 10 attempted "Trojan
Horse" attacks every day.
Both software packages are inexpensive (about HK$500 each) and are widely available at computer stores in Hong Kong. Alternatively, you can also purchase them on-line from the Symantec Web Site. Web Side
Story:
In the 1999/2000 Rotary year, KGM won the award for "Best Club Website in District 3450", but your Web Monster refused to acknowledge it because he felt the whole system of District awards was flawed, as you could win an award for just showing up. As a result, your Web Monster was lambasted by senior KGM members for putting his personal feelings ahead of the club, an accusation which was painful. So the Web Monster repented, and he acknowledged the award on the KGM Web Site, eventhough the actual award certificate was lost and never replaced. Anyway, determined not to "let the side down" again in the 2000/2001 Rotary year, your Web Monster pursued three Rotary web awards but, in each case, KGM failed. Here are the reasons: (1) District 3450 "Best Club Website" Award: Apparently IPDG John Wan decided not to have such an award during his term in office. We can only presume he did so in respect of Rotary International's "Preserve Planet Earth" campaign to save twigs and to be frugal with District expenses. (2) "Best Of The Rotary Web" Award: This award program is conducted annually by the ICUFR (International Computer Users Fellowship of Rotarians) and ROTI (Rotarians On The Internet), to select best web sites from around the world, in various categories. Chairman of the Awards Committee, Briton Roger Siddle, commented: "Let me say that your site has been a favourite of mine for the last couple of years. After viewing a hundred serious sites, it is great to come to your very funny web site.". However, in respect of his two co-judges, American Carl Cardey and Brazilian Alexandre Andrade, he said: "I think they just haven't got a sense of humour". Roger's final comment was: "Please continue to be different - you do a great job of showing that Rotary is fun, but I'm sorry to say you probably won't win BOTRW.". (3) Rotary International "Outstanding Club Web Site Awards": These inaugural awards were initiated by RI IPP Frank Devlyn to recognise clubs and districts who responded to his "call to arms" in respect of technology and the Internet. IPP Frank decided to issue two awards in each of the 34 RI Zones, which means a total of 68 awards. KGM is in RI Zone 4, which also includes clubs in Taiwan and Japan. KGM was honoured to be nominated for a "Best Club Website" award by District 3450 Webmaster IPP Bill Benter (RC Kowloon North), and our name was submitted to RI Zone 4 Coordinator Rtn. Mr. Katsutoshi Higashi. However Mr. Higashi apparently failed to submit any "Best Club Website" nominations to RI. However Mr. Higashi did manage to nominate District 2740 (Japan) for a "Best District Website" award. Despite two emails politely asking him to explain this anomaly, Mr. Higashi has failed to respond. Further enquiries to RI Technology Task Force Chairman Tom Todd and RI IPP Frank Devlyn's Webmaster, Rtn. Harriet Schloer, drew responses: "Your Zone Coordinator was responsible for forwarding nominations to us for award. He sent none." and "....... there is nothing that can be done to rectify what may easily have been an oversight.". So, there you have it folks. Three strikes and we're out. In conclusion, your Web Monster advises he is now out of the web awards process, forever, and he trusts you will understand his reasons. Golden
Smile:
From the US Press: "Federal Drug Administration Study Results Perplex Scientists" In a recent FDA study involving 3,000 cases, United States government doctors administered weekly doses of "Viagra" to an equal number of male accountants, engineers and lawyers. While the majority of the accountants and engineers achieved noticeably enhanced sexual prowess, the lawyers merely grew taller. Researchers are at a loss to explain the results. Quotable Quotes:
"The shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him, for the same act, as the destroyer of liberty." -- Abraham Lincoln -- The Phantom |
The handsome guy on the left is our new District Governor Johnson Chu, who hails
from the Rotary Club of
Peninsula.If you no longer wish to receive this bulletin each week, reply to this message and change the "subject" to remove, or click here. For previous issues of the bulletin, visit our archives. © 2001 Rotary Club of Kowloon Golden Mile. Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and they do not necessarily represent the opinions of any other member of the club.